It is not as if we are not used to the signs of trouble. Helicopters hovering are a common sight and violence on the streets seems common too. When the helicopter started to hover some while before home time on Wednesday it hardly registered, but then, as it stayed there we started to wonder what was going on. As one parent turned up and was looking at her phone, I was outside clearing up while the children had their snacks indoors. I asked if she knew what was going on and she said she thought there had been a stabbing. Awful but not shocking.(Shocking that it is not shocking) Another parent had been held up in the traffic building up, and she thought someone had been killed in the job centre and was lying there on the floor. I worried about my colleague being able to get home, and waited for her to text that she had got her train OK before setting off and driving round all the back streets to avoid the traffic. I didn't think to look what had happened until I got home. I first read a report on the local newspaper website which had graphic descriptions of events, and the one that caught my eye the most was local rapper Boya Dee's on Twitter. I turned on the computer and looked at everything many times, including the video of one of the men talking about what he had done and why. Not possible to make this seem real. It was so film like and, well, surreal. Why is the big thing of course because there is no answer to that. He had his answer, governments have theirs and I have been thinking of nothing else since. If I was the family of Lee Rigby I can't imagine recovering from that. Not ever. If I was the family of a child or anyone else killed by a bomb in foreign country where I am lucky enough not to live, I can't imagine recovering from that either. None of it is right. The tweet that the rapper put later on is the thing I keep coming back to-'I hope that one day we can all learn to purely co-exist.' I also keep thinking of the words of my school hymn, Dear Lord and Father of Mankind. I am not religious and am, I suppose, an agnostic at best but the words of this hymn which we sung every week have always stayed with me, as they are so beautiful and sensible. It is the first and the last two verses that I like the most.