Sunday, 6 January 2013

I Can't Eat Chocolate Effigies...

...as is proved by the Easter Bunny who has stood on my bedside cabinet since Andy gave him to me at Easter. Added to his gang is Santa and Rudolph. Maybe I will have to harden my heart and eat them soon.
As it is 12th night, I have put away the few remaining decorations apart from these three and some lights which are not necessarily just for Christmas. I have been continuing to clear out things a little at a time. My socks and scarves were this week's achievements. I can't believe how many of both these items I own(ed). Some have now gone to the charity shop, and some (socks) in the bin, and I have transferred some drawers from the back room to the bedroom to accomodate the rest. So now, when I want a cosy pair of socks for evening wear, or a long pair for under my boots I know exactly where to look. I assume this is how many people live but for me it was a huge pile (the base of which was in a large basket which failed to be big enough) of assorted socks, scarves, hats, cardigans, legwarmers and tights into which I would plunge my hand, hoping for the item I searched for to be in there somewhere. I am not exaggerating! If I could organise the rest of our flat so efficiently as the repurposed drawers I am sure that I would save hours of fruitless searching.
I googled my title and found this article. It is called 'Three Weird Santa Candies That Want to Murder You' by Albert Burneko, which, as a title is quite a draw. It does contain some swearing and is very long so if either of these things will upset you don't read it, but it really made me laugh. Here is a quote to give you a taste. Santa becomes something from 'Aliens.'
'' This one, I dunno, this one's more sinister. This one looks like some Lovecraftian horror wearing a bad disguise—doot de doot de doo, pay me no mind, I'm just a happy elf with tentacles dangling out of my neck, can I come inside and slurp desperately at a puddle of honey?—and for as classically Christmasy as that image is, it's not all that appetizing. Even if I didn't quite expect the Cookies 'n' Creme Santa to go skittering across my kitchen table and vanish into an air-conditioning vent, I kept a tennis racket handy anyway.''
I hope that any Christmas chocolate hanging around in your house will soon be consumed, unless of course it has a face.

4 comments:

snoopydog said...

Hmmm, they wouldn't have lasted long in our house! Just been catching up on your posts. We have had a constant turnaround of family visitors staying for the full two weeks. The last one returned to London on the five o'clock train this evening! It's been lovely, but exhausting. I now need a fortnight off to recover ;-) Have a good first week back! Rosx

Carole said...

Ha. That cute little Lindt bunny would have been the first one I'd tackle!

Tracy said...

haha... me too! We received the most gorgeous dark chocolate Santa at Christmas, and I can't eat it! And I haven't let TJ eat it yet either...LOL! It may be eaten...eventually... ;o) HAPPY DAY ((HUGS)) P.S. LOVE the new beady banner!

Paula said...

This post just cracked me up--very much like our house, even down to the mumble of socks and scarves. There is a chocolate Cross from Easter in the refrigerator that my daughter couldn't bear to eat and a chocolate santa on her bookshelf for the very same reason!